Welcome to Adulthood

As the teens of yesterday grow into 20 something adults, here are some notes from a life-time of experience:

The key insight: Fun, excitement and the present moment should be balanced with perspective, discipline and future plans.

(1) Taking care of one's physical and mental health is foundational. It's not easy, but force yourself to eat healthy, drink plenty of water, exercise and above all, get a regular sleep schedule. But that's the easier part. 

(2) For mental health, you need a sense of satisfaction and purpose. Don't always chase happiness and excitement - those are good but are only temporary and lead to hangovers. Instead aim for gratitude, satisfaction and purpose. Those are enduring qualities and have no bad counterparts. Good companions (family, friends, relationships), and a good job are key for this. Yes, there will be ups and downs. It greatly helps to have beliefs, culture and routines whether they are grounded religion or not.

(3) Look at the road ahead: just like in driving you look at the car in front of you, but also pay attention to the upcoming signal; and think about the next turn (and the following one) so that you can be in the correct lane. You need to keep up with your current situation and keep developing yourself - think about your next job and the one after that: focus on growing skills, degrees, jobs and good relationships.

(4) It is hard to resist the temptation to compare your situation with others. Rather than feeling depressed or envious, be aware of those feelings and use it to build motivation and plan ahead. Look at your unique situation (everyone is unique - the good plus bad) and plan to become better.

All of that is easier said than done; but if you are 'mindful' of them and internalize them, that's a great start. You will build a muscle memory over time to act on them.

Being Mindful

In the list of things I wish I had learnt earlier, Mindfulness beats the rest by a wide margin.

Mindfulness is not just 'meditation'; it is certainly not closing your eyes and breathing for 'show', although that's how it begins.

It is a way of life, with two important insights that are realized over and over again:

(a) temporary nature of everything - including physical phenomena, and one's own thoughts, moods and emotions; applies in many different time scales from milliseconds to decades

(b) only thing that's real is the present moment; everything else is just thought; this leads to a better acceptance of past, deeper gratitude for the present, and an aspiration and planning for the future.

Although one needs dedicated practice (hence the closing of eyes and focusing on breathing) to begin to develop this 'muscle memory', the vast majority of the skill is built over a life-time - understanding the above two lessons and integrating them into thoughts and behavior again and again. There will be setbacks despite the best intentions (e.g., a bad moment, bad day or a bad year), but the key is recognize those moments and 'begin again'.

By far the best resource for this process is: https://www.youtube.com/@WakingUpApp. Takes only minutes to start. If you can not afford the subscription, they are kind enough to gift it to you for an year based on your request. I am a life-time subscriber and a fan.